Does Resentment Surface as You Walk through the Door?
You have been thinking about it all day! You wonder how your partner could do this to you. Are you experiencing righteous indignation and a profound energy drain? Are you prickly and angry as the resentment preoccupies your thinking? Are you distracted, curt and hostile despite your best efforts to be otherwise? It may seem that the only way to address the problem generates more problems.
When you return home after a day steeped in resentment, you guarantee that you will create more of the same. Resentment distorts the truth. It re-enforces your perspective and renders you functionally deaf toward your partner or spouse. Since more of the same seems unbearable, the only solution you can imagine may be a dissolution. However, regardless of how bad things seem, this does not have to be the case.
In most instances the only people to benefit from a divorce are the attorneys. Insult, injury and indignation are dominant emotions for the respective parties during litigation. However, addressing these feelings and their precipitating patterns can have significant effects on all involved including the children. Experiencing anger and resentment at this time is an important reason to seek counseling. To stay entrenched in resentment is to stay in a very destructive place for yourself as well as for those around you.
Are you convinced that your perspective is the accurate one? Are you unwilling or unable to entertain the remote possibility that another one may have some merit? Does it feel like you are heading for a break-up? If your honest answer to these questions is “Yes,” then this is the time to speak with a counselor! Regardless of whether your relationship can be healed, you must heal. You will never reap the benefits unless you work on it; trying is never good enough!